Egad, egalitarianism gets icky. When The Big Guy isn’t pulling for the little guy, all debts and debtors are off, gone amuck I say, deriving derivatives deliriously if not semi-seriously. Since sin is verboten, oxygen obligatory and pure faith abandoned, the least a man of good conscience can do is unconscious, for sure, mam.
This twice-removed and succinctly shallow Hebrew scholar and all-around coarse individual gave up the pursuit of empiricism when it became permanently clear dogma rules in these parts, intolerance triumphs sensibility and at the end of the day and the beginning of the next day widespread and pervasive ignorance is the prevailing dictum among residents of the region my family and I inhabit here in West Doldrums, Donkey Fart, Missouri.
The Israeli-born owner of the local gas station informs all Arabs are crazy and that the Jewish people are entitled to maintain a religious nation state in the Holy Lands by virtue of assurances ordained in the holy Bible. Speaking to a gabby customer over a Styrofoam cup of cold decaf he uttered things will not improve in the region until God comes back to earth. Moderately defiant, the good listening denizen of dialogue responded that it is theoretically possible at least God as referenced is neither man nor woman and more likely, concept. The Israeli-born entrepreneur conceded as much as the conversation trailed off into obscure muttering and categorical non-compliance.
Meanwhile, the ex-husband of the suburban hairdresser proclaimed “Jesus did not evolve from no monkeys,” creating quite a stir among the devotees at the Circle K who found in his brilliant analysis the threads of a larger set of understandings, including many stunning realizations that would only occur decades later after a protracted period of absolute celibacy. Darwin, he suggested, was a mere interloper, a historical aberration of sorts, a cynical individual with a bone to pick with certain members of the clergy in his hometown. Darwin’s penchant for secular science so offended the young divorced man he rather dominated the complete sociological overlay of a family picnic held in the backyard of people we love and respect. It is possible he said, “Jesus wasn’t no monkey.” Others remember references to gorillas, chimpanzees and/or Neanderthal.
Vapors of jet fuel residue etched across the pale sky convincing those assembled around the volleyball court that Man’s ultimate supremacy is indeed eradicable, indelible, incredible if not edible. Certainly the sincere religious discipline of the speaker had the rest of us entirely enamored with the gentleman’s simple grasp of the larger picture not to mention the solemn sincerity of his core belief structure as revealed in a single comment on an otherwise splendiferous occasion, a virtual Christmas-like day … in doggone July, for cryin’ out loud.
Well, you didn’t have to be there did you?
Nope, you sure didn’t.